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"If pick up lines aren’t your thing, let this beautiful business card do the work." — the successor to the douche card, via keo.
Some of these fall flat.. but of note are ‘we must take our tablets’ and ‘the beautiful frock’.
"I got, like, billions of emails from iPhone customers who are pissed off. After reading every one of these emails - well, most of them, anyway - I’ve got some things to say." — a light-hearted response to Job’s recent open-letter.
"Put one of many celebrities on the wheel and test your knife throwing skills." — decisions decisions.. Lohan, Condi or Bush? It’s a tough call.
"If you have a minute take a photo of how you normally digest my attempts molding the English language into sentences and if the response is decent I’ll whip something up.." — Greg asks a reasonable question - here’s my less reasonable answer.. I sent this too.
"A BOTCHED brazilian waxing turned into a horror story for a young Melbourne woman who almost died after the beauty treatment went wrong." — exposing the seedy underbelly of the brazilian waxing trade.. who knew?
"A glitch is causing some Twitterers to have surprising gains of thousands of new followers." — Including yours truely, who has jumped from 30 followers to 1,676 followers. My one moment of fame and it’s all a crock.
“Despair, Inc. is proud to introduce The Pessimist’s Mug™” — the glass, is now half empty. Collect the official mug to mark the occasion - Brilliant! #
